All right, let’s lay it down, clown. I got two emails yesterday asking if it was “OK” to link to this site. I’m all: [exaggerated double-take] Dudes, of course it’s OK. When the dames ask my little brother what he’s thinking about, he says: “If I wanted you to know, I would’ve said it out loud.” And the inverse applies here: “If I wanted no one to read this super-intimate diary, I would’ve written it in my big pink plush autograph book, and that’s reserved for lists of television celebrities I’d totally ‘bone.’” So yeah, link it, tough guy. Spread the magic. Hook me up with your “blogroll.” Inject me into your “blogorrhea.” Never let it not be said that Derek Powazek the anonymous author of this site is not not a sniveling famewhore.

Yesterday we went out into the ten kagillion degree heat to shoot some photos for web ads. If you come across an ad for beer that features a dumpy-looking chump throwing “like a girl,” that’d be me.

While we were waiting for someone to get their shit together, one guy said to me: “Hey, you’re a writer. Have you written any books?” I winced inwardly, then outwardly, and said “sort of,” hoping he wouldn’t ask the usual follow-up of “What’s it about?” Because then I’d have to come up with something besides the truth, which is: “a bildungsroman about a young Mexican woman with a biomechanical vagina that can chew holes into the very fabric of reality itself.” But then the guy instead says that since Harry Potter is raking in the big bucks, he bets there are now a ton of people out there trying to write their own books. As if the whole planet had the same reaction he did upon seeing some news story: “What? People still read books? And pay for them? Yo, I gots to get me a piece of that sweet scam before it dries up!”

Moments later, another guy was saying how he wanted to join the Coast Guard but was too old. The first guy asked him why he’d want to do that — that’d be taking a huge pay cut. Second guy gave it some thought and said that he wanted to save lives. Saving lives is pretty cool, he said. Then they both watched a girl in a bikini carry her boyfriend’s fishing equipment down to the beach. The end.